When I was in law school, a professor exhorting us to keep our written arguments short and concise, told us the story of a famous man who started a letter like this: “I’m sorry to send you such a long letter. I didn’t have time to write a short one.”
That’s me and the story of the house search. Events overtook my ability to keep doing numerous short posts relating the wondrous twists and turns in my life over the last two months. With this post, I sat down intending to do only the highlights. Consider the length of this post and then think about the minor stories and embellishments I left out to get it down to even this length!
When we left off last time, I had finally agreed to go and see the owner of the house, but only to get my deposit back, having twice believed we had a deal, then been ambushed with something different.
Carla picked me up and off we went, me repeating that I was only there as a favour to her, to get this agony over with. We arrived to find a cast of thousands (or so it seemed). Nelly, Nelly’s son Daniel, Nelly’s daughter Diana and her husband, Diego, and hordes of exuberant kids. I was herded over to Diego, because he speaks perfect English. I held out my hand, palm up, made a ‘gimme’ gesture and said I was there for my deposit.
Diego said he thought there had been some sort of miscommunication. I said I was pretty sure there had not. I summarized for him the deal we had reached and how I had arrived at the notary’s to be told I was supposed to sign a different lease, wrong information, tax implications, fraud, blah blah, honk honk. Diego recoiled a little and said he was sure that couldn’t be correct. I told him I had the paperwork to prove it if he’d like to see it. Diego looked sad and disappointed.
This was the cue for everyone else to weigh in.
I can summarize our positions as follows:
Diana, Diego, Nelly and Daniel, and possibly the grandkids:
(a) We’re great people;
(b) We agree to your terms; and
(c) You should sign this lease which was prepared by the best lawyer in Ecuador and includes your terms.
Me:
(a) I don’t care. You may or may not be great people, but in the words of the great Tony Soprano, this is business;
(b) Great, but
(c) My terms are not in the lease you presented.
To underline that point I handed it to Diana and asked her to show me. Nope, not there.
Now both she and Diego were giving me sad puppy eyes.
A refreshing change from me being the one who was sad and disappointed.
All the time this was going on, I was doing a mental calculation. How badly did I want this house? Eventually, I concluded that
(a) I still wanted the house;
(b) they did seem genuinely agreeable to the conditions I had proposed; and
(c) the only remaining issue was that they were now apparently irrevocably committed to their “But it was prepared by the best-lawyer-in-Ecuador!!” lease.
I decided to give it one last shot. I proposed that I would revise their lease (again!!) to include the terms I had insisted on. If they signed that, we had a deal. If not, I was out.
Hurray, let the parades and fireworks commence!! Everyone was ecstatic. Fist bumps and hugs all around.
I still had a healthy dose of scepticism, but what the hell, let the soap opera continue for one more episode.
I spent another night with the lease and Google Translate and sent the revised lease to them and Carla. The response, “Yes, yes, we can’t wait to sign it!!” I gave the by now rote cautions to all concerned that if there were any more surprises, I was done.
Next day off we went to their notary’s. Another story there, but suffice it to say that by the time we found each other, their notary closed. Off to Carla’s notary, who she persuaded to stay open for us. Worked our way through the fifteen or so people who seemed to have arrived in a little bus. Held onto my skepticism until Nelly was called up to sign the lease, which was indeed my version.
Could it be? Was this really going to happen?
A minute into this, Carla approached Nelly with a receipt, ready for her to sign on my handing over another $750.
Suddenly, Nelly jumped up, shouting, no, no, no and making slashing motions with her hand. I couldn’t follow the Spanish, but my takeaway was, “I will cut you, bitch!!”
Carla expostulated. Nelly stormed off. Diana ran after her. More rapid expostulations in Spanish from both Nelly and Diana, complete with dramatic gestures.
I mentally shrugged, sat back, and enjoyed the telenovela unfolding before me, wondering when the popcorn was coming out. I started internally reviewing the houses and listings I’d seen, wondering which one I would pursue next, because this time, whatever the latest problem was, I really was going to be done.
After a few minutes, Nelly and Diana returned. There was another conference with Carla, who started writing out a receipt. I was called up to sign the lease. I handed over the next installment of $750. Carla gave me a receipt which attests to the fact that I have now paid $1500 as the two months’ deposit.
I deduced that the drama was Carla wanting that day’s payment to be attributed to first month’s rent, and the payment to be made on the lease start date, to be the rest of the deposit. Because Carla’s commission is the first month’s rent.
Sucked for Carla, but she took one for the team.
Anyhoo, Nelly signed, I signed, the notary did her photocopying, stamping, ribbon, cool cover thing, Carla snapped my photo with the lease and everyone was hugging and laughing again just as if murder had not been threatened five minutes previously.
We left, pushing our way back through the people from the short bus. I asked Carla who they were and she said someone in their family had died. Wacky Ecuadorian real estate and dead people’s estate law says regardless of who the property was left to, everyone who might potentially have a claim has to sign off.
Carla, ever the enterprising business woman, gave them her card and told them to call her when they were ready to sell. By this time, I was over being angry and frustrated and had simply reached the rollicking laughter phase.
Alrighty then. I now had a lease starting May 15th, which required all repairs on my list, as attached to the lease, to be completed by May 10th.
May 10th arrived. Hands up all those who are surprised that the repairs were not done. Anyone? No one? Okay, you’re all correct.
In response to my query to Diana that day, she told me that they had not been able to complete the roof repair because of the constant rain. Okay, I wasn’t at all surprised to hear that. What did annoy me was to get a message from Daniel, listing a whole lot of inside things that had not been done.
Full disclosure. Part of me was jumping for joy because I saw this as an opportunity. You’ve probably forgotten by now, but when I made the offer, I had not wanted the lease to start until June 1st. I made my play….
I expressed noises of outrage and disappointment. Diana pleaded. Her three year old son had Covid. Nelly had Covid. Their businesses were suffering from Covid. The city had imposed another weekend lockdown. This, she pleaded made it all the more important for her mother to get the house rented.
I made the appropriate (and sincere) expressions of sympathy for their illnesses and trouble. But, see above, Tony Soprano on ‘this is business’.
I pointed out that the tarp being in place when we looked at the house showed that the leak was of some duration, that they had not disclosed that problem to me, and perhaps they should have thought about fixing it before they put the house on the market. I recited other instances of their bad faith and general failure as prospective landlords.
I told them that I was going to be looking at other houses, because they were now in breach of the lease.
After laying this groundwork, I told her I would to give them to May 24th to complete the repairs, but on two conditions. One, that Franklin and I could get access to the house that week to confirm progress. And two, that the lease would not start until June 1.
They agreed right away. Score one for me.
I got in touch with Franklin to see when he would be available to go.
Aaaaand, cue screeching brakes. While I was waiting for the clock to run down on the repairs , Franklin had contracted Covid.
Because of course he did, poor guy. Everyone who comes into contact with me is cursed. Think I’m exaggerating? Did I ever tell you about the housesitter who was supposed to come and take care of my cats a month after John, then his brother and then his mother all died? She was unable to fulfill that commitment on account of – she got hit by a freaking car and died. Yeah, be afraid my friends. Be very afraid.
Franklin was just getting ready to have a test to see if he was over Covid. I delayed the inspection until his test was done. Luckily for both him and me, he had good results, was released into the wild at the end of the week, and was able to come with me to check the house.
He agreed with my assessment which was, that they had made an effort. The roof and the water features were the main things, and the list of smaller things was pretty short. I graciously agreed to let them continue on to May 24th, lease to start June 1st.
Next comes more real estate viewing. Skip to the end if you are that one weirdo who isn’t interested in seeing what you can get for your money here in Cuenca.
The next day, I went to look at the chalet style house I talked about in the last post.
Then my friend Carol arranged for me to see a house for rent right beside her house.
The house is in a gated enclave, behind a big industrial looking iron fence.
I’m kind of ambivalent about the whole ‘gated community’ thing. Makes me a little claustrophobic, and what if some of your neighbours were dicks?
The only garden/lawn was a little patch at the front. It does have a mature lime/lemon tree. It wasn’t fenced though, so the cats wouldn’t be out there except on a harness and lead.
The first living area is on the right.
There was a half-vaulted wood cathedral ceiling there. I’m a sucker for that.
The first good thing I noticed was that the house has lots and lots of light. The living room has a big window and at the top of the half vault on the second floor level there is a skylight.
Straight ahead as you come in the door is another large area which they are using as a dining room.
Under the staircase, between it and the kitchen is a low and long bodega storage cupboard.
Still on the ground floor, opening directly from the dining room is another living area under a glass ceiling. Basically a sunroom.
At the end there, you turn right into a large patio, open to the sky and then to a covered laundry room.
The laundry room has a door to the kitchen.
You can also reach the kitchen by turning right from the dining room, behind the stairs. It was small but in good shape. Nice white countertops that might be marble or granite or something else. There is nowhere for a table, but they have built in a counter/bar facing the wall which divides the kitchen from the dining room. As I have seen so often here, the kitchen has an internal window out to the laundry room.
On the second floor there is a tiny sitting area on the landing overlooking the living room.
Two bedrooms open off there. The master is a decent size with some nice rustic beams on the ceiling.
The master en suite has a nice new bathroom with a large walk in shower.
The second bedroom faces the same view. It is smaller and its ensuite bathroom is tiny. That’s why the sink is in the actual bathroom.
But it has the essentials. For a guestroom, it would be fine.
Up to the third floor, which is essentially the attic. They have put a single bed in a nook under the very sloping, wood beamed ceiling/wall.
To the left of that nook, you bend down to enter a fairly large storage area.
The ceiling there too is too low to stand up in, but good use of that space.
Honestly, the whole house was extremely well laid out. Every bit of space was used, and not much felt cramped except the third floor attic and maybe the second bedroom. It was also the best maintained and cleanest place for rent I think I’ve seen. The couple who own it were lovely, especially the woman. Someone will be very lucky to get that house for $650 or quite possibly less.
But it was not for me. After the big open spaces that I am used to in my current place, it would feel claustrophobic. And then too, the cats would have no green spaces. There weren’t many places to put my art. And I really want to move closer to Centro, not further into residential Gringolandia.
During this hiatus, I also looked at a big three bedroom condo. I was only about 10% serious about this one. I don’t want to live in a condo.
At least it was a small building and in a pretty good location. I wanted to see it for one reason – the absolutely fantastic views from an enormous terrace.
You could see from the cathedral domes all the way back to almost where I live now. Wow.
And that was almost all it had going for it. There were some nice exposed grey brick walls in the living area.
But they would not be conducive to hanging art. The living /dining area was quite spacious.
But the whole place was tired looking – bumps and chips in the walls. Beaten up laminate floors. And just look at the beautiful jacuzzi, which was advertised as a selling point.
The agent gamely tried to pass this off as the apartment not having been cleaned up after the last tenant. Sure, let’s go with that, even though we both knew all the cleaning in the world was not going to fix that disaster.
A prospective tenant might not care about the jacuzzi, figuring the views and the great big terrace compensated.
Except the layout was dreadful. I don’t think I’ve ever seen such a design fail. The exact opposite of the little house beside Carol.
The back wall was all glass, which was good for the living area. But whoever was responsible for the layout, put the master bedroom at the opposite end, where the only window was frosted glass giving some dim light from the apartment hallway.
Aside from the crying shame of giving up the light and the views, you’d hear everyone coming and going in the hallway. You’d have to hope there weren’t a lot of noisy people in the hall late at night.
The kitchen too, faced the interior hallway, although that was maybe more tolerable.
Those beautiful views and light from the long glass wall at the back adjoining the terrace? They were given over to the two guest rooms.
On the other side of the bed, was a patio door leading to the terrace.
Even the smallest bedroom got access to the terrace and the views.
This is someone’s idea of a well laid out laundry room.
This apartment was listed for $690, which initially sounded quite reasonable for three bedrooms, two and a half baths, with that terrace and those views. But when I got there, I was informed that the owner also wanted the tenant to pay a $105 condo fee as well as water and electricity. That would bring the cost up to about $850.
No thanks.
May 24th rolled around. Franklin took over one of my propane tanks so we could test the hot water. Ironically, that was the thing I was most concerned about to start with and which led to me demanding the house inspection in the first place, but it was the last thing we managed to do. Another story that I’ve edited out.
It seemed to take some doing and lots of head scratching among Franklin, Diana and her husband Diego before we achieved hot water. When it came though, it was really hot. Yay!
Things seemed to have progressed so well that I decided to leave the propane tank. Diana offered me the keys. She said they would have everything done and be out for good on May 30th.
I went home and gave notice to my landlord.
May 31st, I went over to check progress. Uh huh, you guessed it. The house was in the same shape as the previous week.
Off we went into drama land again. This time in addition to my performance of being beyond disappointed, blah, blah, honk, honk, I told them I was not paying money the next day for rent for a house that was not ready to be moved into.
New strategic move. I gave them a choice. Door number one, they could give me my deposit back and we’d all go our separate ways.
This was a serious offer. I figured they might be sick enough of my demands by that point to just let me walk away. I was prepared for that as long as they repaid my money. I could either stay where I was (Mauricio was very sad about me leaving) or I could rent the Monay house. It was still on the market.
Door number two. I would give them to June 10th to finish everything, with a big condition. If the repairs were not done by June 10th, I would take over. I would arrange for anything outstanding to be done, send them the receipts and take the cost off the first month’s rent. Oh, and the lease would start June 15th.
I told them they had 24 hours to accept in writing. They came back right away and said the second option was fine. Thanks to their shenanigans constantly delaying occupancy, my move was going to be six weeks later than originally scheduled. I was going to save over $1100 in rent.
Today is June 11th. I was at the house yesterday and it looks like everything has been done. Poor Franklin was not able to come with me, because he has had a much worse recurrence of his Covid symptoms. His spine, lungs and heart have been affected. It’s horrible.
I’ve had zebra blinds installed in the bedrooms.
Before he fell to Covid again, Franklin installed a handheld shower unit in the en suite as well as a shower rod and curtain.
He also painted two of the three bedrooms, the room over the garage and the kitchen.
There was also a thing about rats – but hey, this has been long enough and no one wants to hear the rat story, right?
I have hired a cleaning crew who will come on Sunday to start a two day thorough deep cleaning of the whole place; everything from washing walls and ceilings to cleaning light fixtures and switch plates.
I’m meeting Daniel and Diana at the house on the 15th to go over the last things and get the remote control for the garage.
I have movers scheduled for the 17th and the internet move for the 18th.
Franklin’s brother Emilio, another really good guy, is going to help me with unhooking my appliances and re-hooking them up.
Emilio will also come early on moving day and transport me and the cats and all the cat paraphernalia over to the house. The cats will wait out the move there, secured in a room off the garden behind the kitchen. Which I don’t think I even knew was there til the other day.
I can hardly believe that I did it.
And I did it through the month of May which has been my second worst on record. The worst, of course, was May of 2019, the year John died. This year, in addition to battling deep grief and sadness on the anniversary, which most of you know is also my birthday, I had horrible bronchitis all month. It was so bad that I got the lab people over to do a Covid test. Negative, thankfully. At one point I was actually considering seeking medical help. Which I never do.
On top of that I was semi-hysterical, convinced that Tiberius was dying. He lost weight, he couldn’t jump. That worry and stress went on for weeks during May also. Another long story, but in the end, it turns out he’s diabetic. He’s getting insulin and he’s fine.
There was rain and more rain followed by torrential rain, all month as well. One of the roof leaks in my current apartment opened up again.
Despite all that, I still think I did the right thing. The fact that I persevered through all that shit is a measure of how much I love the house.
I guess the proof will be if I’m still saying that this time next year. Or next week, after I move?
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