Religious Pet Owners Collide With The Holidays

Dear Auntie Awesome:

I just saw the most darling nativity set on eBay, where all the figures are dogs.

Is it bad or even blasphemous to buy this? I want it so bad.

Yours truly,
Christian in Kelowna

Hey there Christian, and a very Merry Christmas to you and (I’m going to go out on a limb here) your dogs.

First a disclaimer. Auntie knows a lot about a lot of things, but she does not purport to be an expert on religion. But dogs and kitsch – boy, did you come to the right place.

Animals were huge at the nativity. Camels, goats, donkeys, cows, sheep. Where there are sheep, there are shepherds. And where there are shepherds, there are dogs.

See? There are two dogs in that perfectly traditional nativity scene right there.

It’s a short step from that to an all dog nativity. Heck Dan Brown’s ‘logic’ in getting from The Last Supper to Mrs. Jesus in The Da Vinci Code was a whole lot more torturous than mine.

Now let’s take a closer look at the nativity scene “Christian in Kelowna” wants to get.

If you click on the picture, you should get a close up view.

Specifically, let’s look at the Three Wise Men: a German Shepherd, a Bulldog and (drumroll please) a St. Bernard.

It’s got a saint in it. You can’t get more Christian than that. Boom. Case closed.

Anyway, could that Miniature Schnauzer shepherd be more adorable? I’ll grant you we have to stretch the internal logic a little further in that respect. Schnauzers, Labs and Dalmatians aren’t herding breeds, so some pedants might quibble with making them into shepherds. Still, that looks like a Collie behind puppy baby Jesus in the manger, so I’m going with the theory that the Collie does the actual herding under the commands of the boss shepherd Schnauzer, Lab and Dalmatian. We’ll table the question of whether they whistle their commands or use paw signals.

I have to confess though that the Lab worries me a little bit. Why is he wielding what seems to be a club? Is he the Nativity Club bouncer? We all know what poor impulse control Labs have.

I hope puppy baby Jesus doesn’t make any sudden moves.

I say go for it, Christian in Kelowna. You can spend a lot of fun time with your family debating the choices made when putting together these dog nativity characters. For example: a Cocker Spaniel as an angel. Really? And how did that Labrador Retriever make it across the ocean to Bethlehem? Maybe a Christmas miracle?

Discuss among yourselves.

You can get any number of dog nativity scenes on eBay, featuring your favourite breeds, like Beagles, Weimaraners or Bassets.

I don’t know about the Boxers though. Surely Boxers should not be taken out and put on display until December 26th. C’mon – “Box”-ing Day? Nobody get me.

You can also get an all cat nativity scene. Is it just me, or does every single one of those cats look like they’re ready to attack the unwary visitor to the manger? Especially the Siamese. That dude is ready to throw down.

Or maybe, since he’s one of the Three Kings, he’s ready to invade a foreign country.

The ‘Killer Cats’ vibe is somewhat diminished by the Little Drummer Boy cat though, who appears to be a hippie kitty playing a bongo. So there’s that.

And by the way Auntie’s Jewish readers, you too are included in the animals invading a religious holiday game. You can get a creepy dog menorah or gelt money or dreidel plush toys.

My absolute favourite though is this fully loaded Hannukah dog. That baby’s got it all going on, from the menorah to the yarmulke. Okay, the head covering might be a tuque, but this dog dances!

Auntie’s going to sign off now because she’s becoming overexcited and is fighting the urge to reach for her Visa card. I’m not Jewish and I don’t want to be guilty of cultural appropriation so Hanukkah dog better stay safely out of my reach. But – dancing and with a menorah on his back!! Puhleeze Santa???