The General and I have personally owned six dogs and over thirty cats, only two of whom died a ‘natural’ death. Not only that, we had literally thousands of clients at the pet resort whose pets would inevitably age and become terminally ill. From time to time, we’d be part of the discussion about when they should seek a quiet end for their friend.
By now, you’d think we would be experts at determining the exact moment when it is time to make the appointment to have a pet euthanised.
There is no such thing as an expert. I’ve pretty much come to believe that there is also no “right moment’’. Every owner will bring their own point of view, and carry their own emotional baggage in those very painful and difficult circumstances.
I do believe that just as our pets give us their love and loyalty, we have a similar obligation to them. There are decisions they cannot make for themselves. Painful though it is, the responsibility for that last act of kindness falls on us.
There are people, I am told, who do not believe in ever doing anything other than ‘letting nature take its course’. I am not addressing those people here. My comments are made in the hope that people who believe that they have a moral obligation to provide their pet with a painless sleep at the end of their lives, will find something useful here to guide their decision.
First, here are some things to consider if you are having difficulty even thinking about putting your dog or cat to sleep.
1. Never forget the context – “Everything that lives, dies, passing through nature to eternity.”
Face the facts. Hope can be a great thing. But hope can also be a deceitful, persistent bitch who will betray you in the end. I’m assuming that we wouldn’t be having this discussion if there was any realistic hope for your pet.
I’m not trying to be cruel. In fact, it can be a great relief to remember that you’re not making a decision to kill your pet. The decision on your pet’s survival has already been taken by nature. It is disease or age or even perhaps a massive injury that is killing your pet. All that remains for you to decide is the question of when and how that death will occur.
There is no treatment that will make a 15 year old dog a puppy again. If the vet has told you that there is no cure for whatever is making your pet ill, get another opinion if you wish, but when all the experts agree, you must believe them, both for your sake and for your pet’s sake.
2. Think of euthanasia as the end of the spectrum of pain relief.
Interrupting consciousness is essential to alleviate pain when it reaches unbearable levels. We do it so that surgery can be performed, for example. Of course we know (or hope) that our dog and cat will return to consciousness when the surgeon has done her job and the pain can be managed by something other than complete loss of consciousness.
With euthanasia, consciousness is interrupted permanently, because that is the only effective way to end the suffering.
3. Step outside the process.
By this I mean that you see your sick pet every single day, so it is really difficult to fully recognize the degree to which your pet is deteriorating.
The aging process takes place gradually. A terminal illness may take weeks or months to fully manifest.
Step back from time to time and try to view your pet’s condition and quality of life through the eyes of a sympathetic stranger.
4. Remember that emotionally, you are suffering more than your pet.
Animals have the great gift of being unaware of their own mortality. Unlike us, your pet knows nothing of his approaching death. He is not dreading oblivion, or wondering if there is an afterlife, or mourning because he will never seen you again. He’s not terrified of dying. He’s doing what he’s done his whole life – he’s living in the moment. If those moments are torment, he accepts that he can do nothing about that. You can.
If you manage his passing with sensitivity and care, he will know nothing other than a gentle falling asleep. Lots of vets will come to your house so your pet can fall asleep without trauma, in the place he knows and with people who love him. Other vet clinics have special rooms where the procedure is done in peaceful, quiet, comfortable surroundings.
With our first two cats we were spared the decision to euthanize. One died at the vet’s waiting for surgery and the other simply gave a loud cry in the night. By the time we found her in a closet, she was dead. Our next cat Jake, lived to be 19. He got older and frailer. He stopped eating end drinking. Every night when we went to bed, we were sure he would pass on in the night. Every morning when we got up, we were sure he would die that day. But he just went on and on.
Finally, when his breathing got so bad it seemed he was fighting for every breath, I took him to the vet.
Jake was the first animal I held while he was sent on. Afterwards, I wondered why I had waited so long.
It was so gentle and peaceful. Since then, I have stayed with many dogs and cats while the vet painlessly ended their suffering. I have been devastated, but they have just gone to sleep, never suffering from knowing they are not going to wake up.
Having brought yourself to accept the inevitable, how do you know when it is time?
1. Is your pet suffering pain or depression?
This is a two part assessment. Is your pet suffering? If so, can the suffering be alleviated?
Absent actual sickness – vomiting, nausea, a weeping sore that will not heal – pain can be difficult to assess in cats and dogs. Ask your vet for an opinion.
Especially with cats, the lack of interest in grooming is highly indicative of depression and pain. Is your cat using the litter box? If your dog is capable of movement, but lies in a pool of his own urine, this is a clear sign of something badly wrong.
Do they like to be around family or are they going off to hide and be on their own? Is your dog meeting your eyes? Is the cat looking at the squeaky toy she always loved, even if she’s not chasing it?
Lack of response to stimuli like hearing her name or the rattle of the treats package can be a clear indicator of the extent of her pain. She is completely focussed internally and has nothing to give to the world outside her suffering.
Has her temperament changed? If your normally friendly dog starts snapping when touched, pain is probably the culprit.
Is he having trouble breathing? One of the most painful and frightening things to experience is the inability to draw an easy breath.
Will he be helped by some form of oxygen therapy, such as a puffer?
Can the pain be controlled with medication? What are the side effects of the medication? Sometimes all pain relievers do is stupefy. Which brings us to –
3. Your Pet’s Quality of life
Is your pet still interested in the things that normally interest him? Make a list of the things your dog or cat likes to do when healthy. Compare it to the life they have now.
Compromised mobility may be tolerable as long as any associated pain can be controlled. A dog who can go for a walk and still wants to go for a walk is enjoying life, even if the walks are shorter and slower than they used to be. If your dog can’t walk, perhaps you can enhance his quality of life by taking him for a walk in a wagon, or using a cart to support his hind end. Perhaps a car ride would be an acceptable substitute.
If there is still a reasonable amount they can do, if they have more good days than bad, or they don’t suffer too many bad days in a row, postpose the decision. Look at the list again from time to time and note any downward progress.
4. Eating and Drinking
For me, when our cats or dogs stop eating and drinking, I feel the end has come. Yes, you can consider a liquid diet, subcutaneous fluids, or even a feeding tube. If the dog or cat is suffering an illness with some hope of a cure, I am certainly prepared to do those things. But force feeding water with an eyedropper to a cat suffering from terminal cancer is unacceptable to me.
5. Your Quality of life
It’s not all about the pet. Your feelings and circumstances are part of the equation as well. I’ve already talked about the need to face facts and be realistic. It is not cruel or unethical to consider the toll which you will pay in dealing with a terminally ill pet.
If your pet has lost mobility, are you prepared to pick them up and move them around, change their position on their bed to avoid lung collapse and bed sores? Are you even able to cope physically? If you have a Great Dane and live alone, your options are going to be limited.
If your pet is incontinent, how long are you prepared to go on cleaning your rugs and washing a feces covered pet who has lost mobility?
No one wants to weigh money issues against their pet’s life, but the cruel fact is that veterinary treatment can be wildly expensive.
Sometimes treatments are offered which are both expensive and have little chance of long term success. Don’t feel guilty because your circumstances simply do not allow you to spend the amounts required. Remember what I said in the beginning. You’re not choosing to kill your dog or cat. Death is coming for them. Your job is not the impossible one of somehow defeating mortality. Your job is to weigh a whole plethora of factors about when and how your pet will pass. For many people, economics will necessarily factor into that decision.
This is an intensely personal decision. Moreover, it is one you must make while suffering under the intolerable burden of overwhelming emotional pain and distress. Anyone who is facing that terrible decision will get no judgment from me. Only my deepest sympathy, whatever you decide and whenever you decide it.